On the Rollercoaster

You know that whole opposites attract thing?

We are living proof.  

 He's calm, I shriek

I'm on time (usually), he prefers 5 minutes late (or more)

He likes animals, I detest them.

I'm a planner (kind of), other than farming he doesn't plan.

I would far rather have way more than I need, he prefers to run out rather than have extra.

These are just a few of the ways we are refining each other.

We'll either end up in matching straight-jackets (or behind bars)

or become lovely people.

Then there's the whole adoption waiting issue and that throws everything out of whack!

Tonight Mr. Calm-and-Reasonable-Just-Put-It-Out-Of-Your Mind asked,

"Do you think tonight's our night?"

(that's my line!)

"It might be, because all of a sudden I was attacked with panic and thought of the million and one things I need to do or should do before we leave the country. (And failed completely to mention that I could have been doing these things during the eternity we've been waiting!),"

responded the spouse whose motto is If In Trouble Or In Doubt, Run In Circles, Scream and Shout.

(It's Sunday and in the panic mode I had started the washer and dishwasher, cleaned up the disaster I call my kitchen, made a list of the 1,000,001 things to do, was heading out to fold a basket of clothes, and thought about {really briefly!} sweeping the kitchen floor.)

"Me, too," 

said Mr. It-Will-Happen-When-It-Happens

"That's why I didn't work here on Saturday."

And so the rollercoaster starts down the hill again.  

I realized the stress is getting to Mr. Patience when I called him one morning and he answered with, "Did we get it?"  After my negative response he added, "This would be so much easier if you could just put it out of your head and forget planning about it until it happens."  Turns out that "you" was a reference to himself.  I only realized that when he repeated it a couple of days later.  It's getting to us.  Both of us.  Which is kind of nice because I hate to think of going completely crazy alone. 

I haven't blown up with our agency - except when the executive director told me last week on the phone that it "will happen eventually and in the meantime you should just try to forget about it."  That made me pretty mad.  We've busted our butts for the last year trying to get everything done promptly and paid for overnight postage to keep things moving as quickly as possible and NOW, right before we leave for China, we're supposed to just forget about it until we get THE CALL.  Come here and say that to my face, lady! 

And I want to remember this:

 I had a dream the other night of Alex. I pretty much only remember a dream once a year or so and then it's usually a nightmare.  In the dream Alex was about 14 with the name Queue Home (Go figure!  I never realized that my subconscious was into symbolism.) and he was SO NICE and KIND and everything we would pray for.  I went to introduce him to someone and blanked on his name.  Completely. Then I remembered Queue and he smiled gently and filled in, "Home" and my heart broke.  How could I forget?  What I remember best was that gentle smile.  

Still Here and Random Thoughts About It

We got this message from our adoption agency today.  Our wait for TA (which is averaging 3 - 10 days) is now at 49 days.

"Our Beijing office personally visited CCCWA today China time and pushed further on the delay.  Our people were told that the delay remains the fallout of the computer glitch that I discussed with you in January, when the accounting department was having some problem accessing their computer records to confirm your dossier and translation fees were paid, a confirmation the matching department requires in order to issue the TI for any family.  Of course, we were told at an earlier point that this glitch had been fixed and obviously has been since families with A5 approvals issued in February are getting their TIs.  Our staff was told the financial section was “too busy”, which I take to mean to get to the backlogged families right now, and that we were to wait while they caught up.  It’s illogical why the financial department would not deal with backlogged families before more recent ones, but we as adoption professionals learned that logic rarely applies in international adoption. "

SO WHY WAIT?

Because some things are worth waiting for.

It may not be the desire or the dream that God has given to you, and you may not understand it from an earthly perspective, but we believe that it is God's plan for us and His plan B for Alex.  Thank you to those who have prayed for us and encouraged us. Please keep praying for Alex.  This is from Love Without Boundaries and addresses the possibilities of why he may or may not know that we are coming: 

A few years ago we had a beautiful little girl in one of our programs who wanted a family very much. She was chosen off of an agency list, and I was actually the one who told her in person that she would be getting her own mom “very soon.” She was overjoyed, and I know she started counting the days until she would have a family of her own. Unfortunately her family-to-be didn’t seem to have the same burning desire to get the adoption completed. Months went by without home study visits being done; each time the agency would call to ask if they were still continuing, then the family would do one more minimum piece. Six months turned into a year, and then two, and the little girl was still no closer to having this family actually come get her. The older children in the orphanage, who were no longer eligible for adoption, began taunting the little girl to release some of the anger they had in their own hearts over never being chosen. They began telling her daily that of course no family was coming, as who would want HER. Despite the nannies’ best assurances, of course the little girl slipped into a deep sadness. After the family finally backed out, I discussed what had happened with the orphanage director, who told me he would never again tell a child a family was coming “until we are walking into the doors of the government office to meet them.”

Of course that was an extreme response, but adoptive parents in the West need to understand that orphanage directors and nannies regularly see families who stop adoptions. Whether it is from divorce, or money issues, the loss of a job, or a death in the family, sometimes adoptions fall through. Many orphanage officials feel in their minds that they are protecting a child from future heartache by withholding information about a family until that family actually arrives in China. They also might feel like they are protecting the child from hearing taunts or even threats from other children in the orphanage who are dealing with their own feelings of not being chosen. 

On the other hand, Alex may have been told and given our album back when we received LOA back in October.  And now it's February.  That's a long time for a 7-year-old to face an unknown future.  Please keep his little heart in your prayers.

God is building patience (although it feels like we are just working toward official straight-jacket status).  

Again, someone else's words are better than mine, so from Sandra Zimmerman at Tales From Our House: 

After I wrote yesterdays post I was listening to a radio program and what I heard felt like God was prodding me, giving me a reminder. In my own words this is what I heard, "Patience, we ask God for it, desire for Him to pour it upon us, to give it to us a gift of sorts, if you will. But God usually doesn't answer our prayer by filling us with patience. He often leads us through hard times and let's us earn patience because like most things, we will value it much more if we have to earn it."       The speaker then gave the illustration of someone learning to water ski, again my own words, "You are in your living room with your new ski's and an instruction manual. Even though you follow the instructions, you will have a difficult time learning to ski because you are missing the key ingredient, water. Learning patience is similar. We have an instruction book and we know what we wish to attain, but without trial's, we will have a difficult time learning patience."

I'm sorry, Lord, but I HATE PATIENCE.

February

The neighbors have lambs.

Everyone enjoyed them and tried to persuade dad that our farm needs some.

I'm afraid that my pet Q-tip permanently spoiled owning a lamb for Kenton.

However, you know the old adage - if at first you don't succeed...

Kids in the van.

This is an old mill between the farms.

As long as I don't have to touch them, chickens are so much fun.

(Especially when they roost on my husband's skid loader at night.)

Graffiti - generally best done with something other than your own name.

Oakview Ridge Farm parlor

Sebastian during milking.

Hello, ladies!

Milk house with milk tank

More barns and silos

Emily dressed up for Chinese New Year.

We've been expecting TA since early January. We've had rough days and good days

and put our lives on hold as we waited to hear that we are cleared to travel.

Yesterday was not a good day.

Despair hit the fan and it wasn't pretty.

We need to quit waiting and planning and just focus on living. 

So our family of seven - five wonderful kids - went to a museum.

It was good to get away for the day and just enjoy what we have.  

Worth the Wait

Back in 2010, after 2 1/2 years of waiting, 

I opened my email and saw this little dumpling.

Her name was Ying Ying and we couldn't wait to bring her home.

There was a glitch ( surprise, surprise) and it took several extra months before she joined our family.

It didn't take her long to fit right in

Even though there were times of sadness as she grieved for all she had lost.

She's bright, independent, bossy, busy, imaginative, loves her friends and cousins,

Loves to read, play dress up, play games, ride bike, play soccer,

We love her like crazy!

We are so glad you are a part of our family.

.

We are so blessed.

While We're Waiting...

Everything feels like it's on  hold at this point.  

C'MON TRAVEL APPROVAL!

It's hard not to wish away the next seven weeks( WE HOPE!) so we can get on with life as a family of eight!

Wait...did I say eight?

I'll admit that while mothering five kids isn't usually that big of a deal

(except for feeding the herd three times a day.  THAT is a big deal!)

for some reason the IDEA of SIX kids is rather...terrifying.

It seems like a big jump.

And I suppose Alex will expect to eat three times a day, too.

Some days I seriously consider the idea of exchanging my kitchen table for a trough.

I'm all for labor saving devices.

We are ALL ready for life to move on.

Even Megan.

(Remember, she's 12!  'Nuff said?)

While we're waiting, we got a little snow.

My 5-year-old has taken up snow boarding.

She isn't half bad for the 8 feet she rides before she sits down.

And pretty good for a little girl who 2 1/2 years ago couldn't walk across a room without falling and hitting her head.  

It wasn't that cold, but Kaitlyn was dying to try out her face mask.

The girls built a "spa."

Some people bury each other in sand.  Davis buries our cat in snow.

Homeschool group is something my kids look forward to twice a month.

This is the art class I inherited from my sister-in-law.

Given a choice between missionary in Mexico and overseeing an art class...

Next time I'M going to Mexico.

The oldest kids started working on the drama of Esther.

More drama.

All these kids own shoes.

I'm not sure WHY they don't wear them.

In January,  For gym.  

Snowman project.

I finished matching comforters for the boys' beds.  

Usually the only bed that's made is Alex's.

This must have been a rare day because there is no farm equipment or trains or legos to be seen.

Megan bought herself a tablet.

It is her new best friend.

She's also been helping clean the disaster area I call my kitchen.

I am BLESSED!

The only thing worse than cooking is cleaning up afterwards.

She's makes a mean 3-layer cake and scrumptious brownies.

I still make better cookies!

The little girls have alternated the last few days between ballerinas and Indians.

Kaitlyn loves to be the big sister.  She's 8 going on 25.  

She loves pierced ears, Ramen noodle soup, and bossing.  

She also loves to read:

Junie B. Jones

American Girl series

The Littles

Emily has not puked, thrown-up, regurgitated, vomited, or any other form of emesis

in almost 2 1/2 years!

Her favorite Christmas gift was Mickey and Minnie Mouse duplos.

The Minnie Mouse slippers are a close second.

So we wait.

Hopefully our travel approval will come tomorrow.

Or the next day.

Or...

Well, you know.

We were talking tonight about expectations once Alex comes home.  How he may hit or spit or act out in some way to get his way.  What to expect when we meet him...anything from screaming to crying to being happy to meet us, All sorts of cheery subjects like that.  Kenton had left to check things out at the farm when Davis snuggled into my lap and started to sob.  

I was horrified.  I figured I should have been a lot more gentle in expressing what might happen.

Nope.  He was crying because it "feels like forever until we get to go get Alex."  

I get it, buddy!  I've shed a few tears of my own today for the same reason.

Update #2

In December the weather was so unseasonably warm and beautiful that the kids spent a lot of time outdoors in t-shirts.  

 The treehouse was a popular hangout. 

Up-the-slide is faster than the ladder

I told them to get in the doorway for a picture together.

One way or another, Emily is going to be the death of me.

At the risk of losing my mom-badge, I will admit that I took only 3 pictures at Christmas.

#1 - Megan because she's looking so grown-up.

#2  - Emily because she's "the baby."  

Need I say more?

Emily with my grandolly, Rosie.

We had a great time even though it wasn't captured by a camera.  

And someday when my kids complain that they never got to do anything, I'm going to nod at my straight jacket and mention gingerbread houses and Christmas cookie decorating.

I DESERVE MY MOM BADGE!

Emily was pretty happy just decorating her own graham cracker.

My kids don't really like to eat them, just decorate and then pick off the good stuff.

We learned the hard way never to buy pre-broken...I mean, pre-assembled.

Everyone (even Jamison) had fun. 

And once the candy was gone, I pitched them when no one was around.

When I got up Saturday morning I saw this...

Two more months and there will be three boys checking out the farming magazines together.