Monday, November 9, 2015


Alex LiBao 

Davis and I were hoping to add one more miracle to our family.  We wanted to add a little boy younger than Emily.  There were 2 problems with that.  Emily just seems like the baby of the family and Davis wanted a buddy to play with.

One day I happened upon a little fellow that someone was advocating for.  He was older than we were looking for, but other things about him seemed like a good fit for our family.  His special need didn't appear to be a big deal so I was surprised that he was still waiting for a family.  

After all the trauma following Emily's adoption, all of us were a little uncertain.  It wasn't an easy decision. BUT the longing to add one more was there.  I was pretty sure that if the right child came along, Kenton would be all in, but first we needed to find the right one.

A lot of agencies won't do adoptions out-of-birth order or virtual twinning.  Alex falls into both categories for our family.  He and Kaitlyn will be the same age for 7 months and he's older than Emily.  

The agency agreed to overlook these issues IF our homestudy social worker would agree.  The social worker and her agency normally won't...but agreed to it for us since they knew us pretty well.  

I guess it's only natural, but after we jumped in I had some fear. Still do occasionally.  Lots of what-ifs run through my mind.  It's reassuring to read through his paperwork and recognize those qualities that make him seem like such a perfect fit for us.

Active, self motivated, good helper, ready smile, clever (okay, this may be a stretch for us, but every family needs at least one brainiac, right?)  energetic, talkative, gets along well with others, sometimes obstinate, loves to look at books, be outside, and his favorite toys are balls and stilts, fond of listening to music, deep sleeper, very active, concentrates and participates in school.  

I will admit all those references to active, energetic, and very active sound a bit daunting.  I already have two that constantly wrestle.  Sometimes when the regular boy battles are driving me batty, Kenton laughs and says, "And you want one more?!?"  It's reassuring to see that he's good in school, concentrates, and participates.  

The little princess in the middle was adopted by a family in Italy last March.  Alex is in the bottom left corner.  When I sent her the most recent picture I have, her mama said she cried and says she wants to learn English so that she can write to him.  It's such a special thing to know that another little girl thinks our son-to-be is pretty special, especially since he'll have 2 big and 1 little sister.  

While we are thrilled that things are finally moving along, we know that for Alex it will be very difficult.  He will lose his "family", language, culture, familiar sights and smells, his school, food, for a time his ability to communicate.  I can't even begin to imagine how hard it will be for him. 

Our prayer is that God is preparing Alex's heart for a new home, that we can be patient, and that God will show us how best to be parents to him.

And although we've said it before and were wrong...

this time it's true.

We are done!


  1. "Participates in school" and "deep sleeper" - two REALLY good things to look for! God is faithful, and I'm sure after the initial adjustments Alex will blend right into your wonderful family in fine shape. Praying for you all, and can't wait to follow your trip to China! Who all is going?

    1. Thank you! I'm not sure who is going. I've been wanting to take Davis and Kenton was not on board. Now K. has decided maybe both boys should go. Honestly, I suspect we'll decide when the time comes. :P

  2. I love this post! I can't wait to see who Alex really is, who God made him to be, after he adjusts into your family (OUR family) :) Bender grandkid #20 will be very loved!!!

    1. Thank you! And when #21 and #22 join us we'll feel the same! :D

  3. Wow! What a sweet post about your son. I felt the same way about Ivy. She was a little older than we wanted and out of birth order. But something kept drawing me back to her. I loved reading the descriptions of our kids. It gave me peace knowing they'd fit right in just like your suspect of your new son. God gives us that peace even though we get a little nervous about it all. Congratulations on that handsome fella.

    1. Thank you, Cheri! Your advice really helped clarify things for us!

    2. Thank you, Cheri! Your advice really helped clarify things for us!