Once upon a time...
there was a farmer who desperately wanted a black lab. He was married to a dog-hating cheapskate.
One day the cheapskate heard about a family who was trying to dump...I mean, find the perfect home for a black lab-rottweiler mix puppy.
The farmer was overjoyed to find the perfect little "Twice Purebred".
The old cheapskate agreed to the freebie on two conditions: the dog would never enter their house and the dog would be taught (by the farmer) the path to the outhouse(otherwise known as anywhere outside the yard).
But the first night home an icy March wind was blowing. Much too cold for the little bugger to be outside. He slept in a clothesbasket next to their bed. Not only that but the pest began to cry and whine at 4:00 a.m. when the farmer in the dell left to milk cows. The cheapskate was scared to hold the pest but five minutes of relentless crying was all it took before, with black thoughts in her heart for both the farmer and the pest, she gingerly wrapped it in an enormous bath towel and sat with it in her lap until the pest...I mean, the farmer, returned from milking cows.
A short time later the farmer realized that his favorite cheapskate was not responding well to puppy love or 4:00 a.m. wake up calls. He began carrying the pest around zipped into his coat. They bonded rapidly.
Eventually the pest even won over the cheapskate. After all she had endearing habits like dropping dead things in the yard and leaving highly personal and aromatic reminders of her presence in the path between the front door and the car. Sam also killed rodents, chickens, the occasional barn cat and provided total adoration and unceasing affection for the farmer in the dell and his undeserving cheapskate wife.
In the days BK (before kids) he was pretty special. On January 20 (his birthday) they'd take Sam out for a Happy Meal. She liked the two cheeseburger one. The farmer and the cheapskate would share the pop and the fries.
Sam was responsible for the single most embarrassing event of the cheapskate's life. Dumb dog!
Sam has not been doing so well lately. She's been looking pretty rough, shivering, not eating. In short, they knew the end was near.
Today was that really bad day. Lots of tears were shed. The farmer in the dell and his four little rugrats are grieving.
Please remember Kim in your prayers.